As far as I can tell, and after extensive investigations(!!) there are two types of people in this world. The ones who love all things sexual, and the ones that don’t. But within those two categories there are an awful lot of subcategories, those who embrace it, those who suppress it, and those who are not even aware that the dark side exists! As to which side IS the dark side – well that all depends on which side of the fence you are on; I know what I think, but I will leave you to make up your own mind!
I grew up pretty fast once I discovered the book “The Devil in Miss Jones’ and I decided that losing my virginity was something of a priority. I had wondered what it was all about for long enough and I was on the hunt for the right boy to do it. I wanted to be sure he knew what he was doing because I had waited a long time to find out! Once I identified a likely candidate it wasn’t long until I managed to bend the world to my will!
Strangely, after that I was a serial monogamist for a long time. All things considered, I wasn’t THAT naughty back then, I just needed to always have a boyfriend around to keep my sexual appetite well fed.
At 18 I started glamour modelling and that lasted about 4 years. This is when I first came to London and met other girls who had that same ‘thing’ that I did. It is hard to explain…but a sexual aura is the best way I can describe it. It isn’t about being the prettiest, the slimmest, the tallest, or the cleverest. It is something about the overall package. When someone has it you know right away. If you are a ‘naughty’ person you can always recognise it in others; I think of these people as ‘my tribe’ – Flirting comes easily to us, and we always have a twinkle in our eye! There were some pretty wild parties and good times to be had back then in the late 80s and early 90s! This was also when I had my first sexual encounter with a woman; it lasted for several years on and off and she was definitely one of the loves of my life; I didn’t label myself as bisexual back then, I just loved her.
In my 30s I got married and had children, good years, but also years when I tried to conform, and suppress my sexuality. Ultimately, I should have known better. I felt caged, and I got restless. I lost myself for a while there, but sometimes you need to get lost in order to truly find yourself.
Which brings me to my 40s, when I finally worked myself out. Newly single and ready to live again. I was lucky to find a friend in the same position and we got busy! Lots of internet research, lots of reading and even late night C4 TV documentaries later we had a ‘to do’ list. We went to naturist resorts in England and France, we went to some very crazy(read naughty) night clubs full of people of all ages and we had the time of our lives! It was so much fun and more hedonistic than we could ever have imagined, and finally it was a world in which I felt I belonged.
This journey has allowed me to find myself and build my confidence. I used to think I was over sexed and over confident – a bit of an odd one out; but now I have given myself permission to be me, I have accepted that I am an exhibitionist (I sometimes wonder if I was genetically developed to be a cam girl and content creator because I love it so much!), I dont worry about what other people think about me, I am just living and loving my life.
See you soon, Amelia.
x
